Many professionals in the mental health care field state there is no single definition for sexual child abuse and incest. This statement is damaging to those who rely on professionals to impart accurate and up-to-date information. The damage is created, because the majority of people don’t want to know the truth about this insidious crime against children. Thus, if a professional states a single definition for sexual child abuse and incest can not be madethis gives those who are in denial a green light to stay in denial about what they are seeing, wondering or suspecting. Everyone has plausible reasons why the person they suspect, or what they see, wonder or know isn’t what they see, wonder or know, because of the inherent implications and ramifications.
In working in sexual child abuse and incest recovery for the past twenty-five years, I have listened to and after lengthy discussion, believed my client’s description of their experiencesthus, there is no question what they experienced. Furthermore, Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women (Paperback) by E. Sue Blume, February 1991 gives a comprehensive definition. This definition clearly and concisely describes what my clients have stated they experienced, therefore, there is testimony to the accuracy and validity of the definition and to the credibility of my client’s reported experiences.
This article is intended to educate the readermental health professionals or non-professionals, on a definitive definition of sexual child abuse and incest.
“Traditionally, incest was defined as “sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legallysex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters.” This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child.” E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors.
“Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child’s expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator’s age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated.” (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors).
If one fully understands, accepts and uses this detailed description of sexual child abuse and incest, one is armed with information to protect children from this insidious crime that impacts 62% of girls and 31% of boys by age 18. Another little known statistic is the most frequent sex offender. Research by David Finkelhor and Diana Russell reveals 80% of children are abused by family members. 19% are abused by someone the child knowsteacher, neighbor, family friend, playmate or playmate’s sibling, playmate’s parent or grandparent, coach, school janitor, bus driver to name the most frequent known and trusted sex offenders. Government statistics report 1% of all children, who are sexually abused are abused by strangers.
Unfortunately, with the media coverage of stranger sexual child abuse and little media coverage of family sexual abuse, it appears to the majority that stranger sexual child abuse is the most prominent and anyone can state”That would never happen in my neighborhood.” And if the truth about family child sexual abuse [incest] is reported or talked aboutmany people immediately believe and/or state, “I don’t need to be concerned about that in my family.”
Those who remain in denial about the definition of sexual child abuse, the truth about the most frequent sexual child abuse offender are part of the reason sex offenders have the opportunity to abuse children.
We are responsible: “Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it.” Sartre
“We are not only responsible for what we do, but also, for that what we don’t do.” Voltaire
“The Worst way you can choose is to choose no way at all.” Friedrich II
“Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” Caroline Myss